And finally… roll up, roll up

A spate of toilet roll thefts in the Temple of Heaven park in Beijing has prompted the management to install a facial recognition toilet paper dispensing system to deter thieves.

The newly installed machines scan visitors’ faces for three seconds before issuing a ration of 24 to 27.5 inches of toilet paper, which the park has kindly upgraded from one-ply to two-ply.

The machines are placed at head height of the average man or woman and will not dispense further toilet paper until nine minutes have elapsed.

A spokesman commented: “If we encounter guests who have diahorrea or any other situation in which they urgently require toilet paper, then our staff on the ground will directly provide the toilet paper.”

But visitors have complained about long queues and wait times and reported that malfunctions have left them waiting for the machine to dispense toilet paper for more than a minute.

In some instances machines have also broken down completely, leaving bathroom staff responsible for issuing tissue.

The machines also raised privacy issues for some visitors, who argued cameras do not belong in the bathroom stalls.

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