And finally… Lord Turnbull risks the wrath of God

A man who claims to be the Archangel Michael has told Lord Turnbull in the Court of Session not to allow independence campaigners to be evicted from the grounds of the Scottish Parliament.

“Crown Prince Michael”, from Sheffield, filed an affidavit at the court yesterday in which he claims to be Christ and to own all human bodies.

He wrote: “My name is Crown Prince Michael, also known as Archangel Michael and the Christ/Messiah and I am older than this world (John 17:5) but the human body I am inhabiting, on this my second coming incarnated into a human, inside a new body from the Tribe of Joseph-Ephraim, exactly as prophesied in the Holy Bible is 68 years of age.

“I am the lawful owner of this entire world and I own it and everything pertaining to it, including all the human bodies that I created and the beings/souls locked within them, who are my condemned prisoners on this prison planet.”

He adds that neither the judges nor the Queen can prove they have been appointed by God: “The pretended judges and their fraudulent queen are therefore guilty of capital crimes and under the law should all be executed.”

The hearing continues before Lord Turnbull today.