And finally… laws of biblical proportions



An American lawyer who proposed a law making it legal to kill gay people based on biblical authority has been hoisted by his own petard after an LGBT activist called for another proscription of the bible, the consumption of shellfish, to be punished by a fine.

The Sodomite Suppression Act relies on the Book of Leviticus, where it states that “If a man also lies with a man, as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death”.

But LGBT activist Joe Decker has proposed a law against shellfish based on Leviticus 11:12, which states: “Whatsoever has no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you”.

The Shellfish Suppression Act provides: “Shellfish are a monstrous evil that Almighty God, giver of freedom and liberty, commands us in Leviticus to suppress. They also smell bad.

“Any person who willingly consumes or sells shellfish is guilty of a felony, and shall be fined $666 thousand per occurrence, and/or imprisoned up to 6 years, 6 months, and 6 days.”

Another ballot has been filed in response to the anti-gay law – the Intolerant Jackass Act.

It states: “Any person, herein known as an ‘Intolerant Jackass’, who brings forth a ballot measure that suggests the killing of gays and/or lesbians, whether this measure is called the Sodomite Suppression Act or is known by some other name, shall be required to attend sensitivity training for at least three (3) hours per month for twelve (12) consecutive months.”

None of the bills are expected to be passed.

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